Relena Island
by LadyBlakeney
Summary: You've seen the characters. You've seen the places. But through the eyes of Gundam Wing's own Relena Peacecraft. Warning, Relena fans ~may~ get offended.


Somewhere deep in the Caribbean...  
  
The untold chapter of Monkey Island...and back to Monkey Island 3.  
  
Chapter One: Deep In The Caribbean   
  
Guybrush Threepwood took another sip of his grog as he sat with Wally and the voodoo priestess in the dilapidated ship. This ship, in the middle of the murky and desolate swamp of Plunder Island, was where this mysterious priestess lived. Wally had come there for the tattoo removal and Guybrush had come in search of more knowledge of this new island. His heart leapt to the ceiling as he heard the wails of what seemed to be a girl, desperate and lonely; searching for someone.   
  
"What's that?" he asked, eying the priestess and Wally suspiciously. They seemed to be more knowledgeable when it came to these areas. At least, the priestess had an omniscient manner that had guided him through many of his trials on his quest to become a pirate.   
  
The priestess glanced at the door that hung open. The psychotic laughter of Murray, the talking demonic skull, even ceased with the persistent wailing of this mysterious being. Wally simply sat there, his gaping at Guybrush's ignorance.   
  
"Well Mister. Wood, it's actually a rather long story that dates back to even before Governor Marley was governor of the tri-island area," he said. He had still been wearing the false beard and the false eye patch that had nearly deceived Guybrush when he had first met him.   
  
"Wally, let's not mention Elaine, its kind of a touchy subject, with her being solid gold and all," Guybrush said, his cup corroding from the strong acid grog.   
  
"Guybrush, I'm surprised you have not yet been informed of this...story," the priestess said, her eyes still fixed on the door.  
  
"Informed of what story?"   
  
"The story of Relena Peacecraft..." Wally butted in.   
  
"It's about a young girl, and Melee Island," The priestess started.   
  
"Wait...wasn't' that my story?" Guybrush asked.  
  
"Not quite, Mr. Brush," Wally replied, "You are, first of all, a male, and this is a completely different story.   
  
"And please don't tell me this is gonna be some weird flashback things, because I told you before, they always make me nauseous."   
  
"Silence Guybrush, just listen," The priestess scolded, and began to start her story.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two: The story   
Relena Peacecraft held her head up high as she strode onto the ports of this strange new island. The harsh sea trip had been one she had never experienced, and frankly, it did not do too well with her stomach. She was happy to get off of the small wooden boat, for the comfort level was of none that she had experienced. She did not want to be there, standing on that island, for she left such a privileged life behind her. She kept telling herself that she had one goal.   
  
"Hello Sir, I wish to become a pirate, would you direct me to the place that I need to go to?" she said as she spotted the first sign of any human life on this dilapidated island.   
  
"Oh hello little boy-" the strange man, said, turning to the side.   
  
"Boy? Do you know who I am?" Relena asked, aghast that anyone had such an audacity to call her, the queen of the world, a boy.   
  
He turned to face her, "Oh there you are," he exclaimed, his flowing white beard touching the ground each time he moved his mouth. "Hello young miss, what's your name."  
"My name is Relena Peacecraft and I wish to become a pirate. I seek a new life, hidden from my past one, and I find that this strange island is the best way possible."  
  
"Well then, Regina Peacesnack-"  
  
"Relena Peacecraft."  
  
"Isn't that what I said? Anyway, I am the watch guard here at Melee Island, watching for that boat the governors frightened of.-" the man explained, and Relena could not help but notice how shaky his voice had become when he mentioned that strange ship.   
  
"What person would make their watchman someone who's as blind as a bat?" she snorted with laughter.  
  
"What's with you people with strange names always poking fun at me? And our lovely governor, Heero Yuy is very kind on terms of giving people here jobs," The man continued.   
  
She stood there for several moments. The name Heero seemed so familiar to her, yet she could not remember where she had heard it.   
  
"So you want to be a pirate?" The strange man questioned. "I can't help you here, but I'm sure the guys down at the scum bar would be glad to inform you on the ways to become a pirate. Why are you, such a-lovely lady-trying to become a pirate?"  
  
"It's a long story," Relena said, her eyes scanned the dark island, scanning the area for what may be the governor's mansion. "I'll be going now."   
  
She walked and down the stairs that led to the rest of the island. She had several coins in her pocket, but left much of her money behind. She strode by a shack; its only decoration was an election poster.  
  
"Elect Heero Yuy, for another term for governor," She read out loud. The name still seemed so familiar. She yearned to go and seek the face of this Heero Yuy, to discover what was haunting her about the name.  
  
She walked for what seemed to be an eternity, when she stumbled upon the first shop, a bar perhaps. She looked at the sign hung up above the door. In the dark, she could barely make out the hastily painted letters making out the word "Scumm Bar."   
  
"This must be the place then," she muttered to herself as she opened the door.   
  
She was taken aback by the loud noises that emerged from this bar. There were strange faces, eye patches, and a dog. Pirates, laughing as they swung their cups around, continued to flirt with the skimpily dressed wenches sitting next to them. One man, dressed in red was sitting all alone. She walked up to him to ask him about this area.   
  
"Hello, my name is Relena Peacecraft, and I would like to become a pirate," she said, her eyes fixed on the long flowing black beard.   
  
"Relena Peacecraft eh? What a strange name," the strange man replied, revealing a mouth full of gold teeth as he spoke. "You seem new in town."  
  
"Yes, I am," Relena said, ignoring the insults that she received from him about her name.   
  
"Oh really, I could tell because any newcomer would know that the people to talk to about becoming a pirate are the important-looking pirates in the back."   
  
"How can I tell that they are the ones to talk to?" she asked.  
  
"They look important. Tell me, why does such an innocent looking girl such as yourself, wish to become a pirate?" The man asked.  
  
Once again, Relena wished to refrain from revealing the actual reasons of her departure from her old life. "It's a long story."   
  
He looked at her strangely for several moments and then glanced back at his drink that he held in his hand. It was bright green and it bubbled and gurgled as it sat there. "Well miss, my grog is getting a bit flat, so I'm gonna get back to it. "  
  
Relena looked around. There were no pirates that looked noticeably different from one another. Well, none distinguishable enough to be considered as "important-looking." Her eyes darted around the room as she examined each pirate. A thin man wearing a small, blue hat and a strange pin was sitting at his table. Though he was surrounded by others, he seemed distant enough to be able to ask for more help from.   
  
As she approached him, she noticed that the strange pin on his shirt was one that read, "Ask me about Loom." She debated with herself about actually asking about this "Loom" thing.   
  
"Hello, my name is Relena Peacecraft and I wish to become a pirate," she said.  
  
"Aye, what you be telling me for? The big guys in this business are in the other room," he said.  
  
"Thank you sir. May I ask about this Loom thing?"  
  
The man's face lit up as she asked this question. Relena rolled her eyes and anxiously stood around as the man spent the next fifteen minutes describing this strange computer game called "Loom."   
  
After his talk of computer games had ceased, Relena walked through the curtains to another room, illuminated by the warm fire. Three men, wearing cloths that were noticeably more elegant than those of the pirates. They held their drinks in their hands and talked amongst themselves, not noticing the young girl slowly and shyly approaching them. One of them looked up to see her.   
  
"It's not Halloween yet is it?" the first man said, in an accent so thick, it was hard to understand.  
  
"Not to my knowledge," Relena replied.   
  
"Then get lost, we don't have any candy for you," the second man said, returning to his drink after he spoke.  
  
"Well, actually, I did not come for candy. My name is Relena Peacecraft and I want to become a pirate."   
  
They all stared at her for several moments and their grim faces slowly turned into smiles, as they began to laugh at her.   
  
"A pirate?" The third pirate laughed. "What would inspire you to become a pirate?"  
  
"I mean, look at that little pink blouse. You are aware pirates don't wear pink?" the first man asked, his words even more indecipherable through the uncontrolled laughter and the thick accent.   
  
"Pink is my favorite color," Relena said, in defense of the color that she had loved all her life. Her car was even pink.   
  
"Oh is it eh?" the second pirate said. "Well, if you want to become a pirate, first of all you have to drink this grog."   
  
"That stuff?" Relena said.   
  
"And then," the third pirate continued, "You have to face the-"  
  
"Three trials!" the three of them exclaimed in unison.   
  
Relena looked at them, suspiciously. In all the books she had read at school about pirates, she had never once heard about three trials being involved. It made her question her actual motives of becoming a pirate, for even this small island must hold more opportunities than just piracy. There was also the vaguely familiar name that continued to trouble and haunt her. Heero Yuy. Where had she heard that name before? Where had she seen that face before?   
  
"Well, what are the three trials?" Relena asked.   
  
"Well there is actually no specific order in finishing 'em. First, you must be able to find buried treasure. I mean, what form of pirate would not be able to do that? You must find a map, then delve deep into the forests of Melee Island, and find the treasure," the first man explained.  
  
"That sounds easy enough," Relena said.  
  
"Oh does it?" The second man said, chuckling to himself at her feigned audacity. "Well, the next trial, you must prove that you can steal like a pirate. Go into the governor's mansion, and steal a priceless good from it. Bring it back to us to prove that you had stolen it."   
  
Relena's face lit up as she heard the second trial. This trial would give her an opportunity to find out who this governor was, and possibly help her discover why it had always seemed so familiar to her.   
  
"And finally," the third man continued, "To complete the third trial, you must challenge the sword master of Melee Island and defeat him in a sword battle."   
  
"A sword fight? Please sir, I hate fighting," Relena pleaded. "Please think of some other trial for me."   
  
"That's what I thought," chortled the first man. "You're too weak to become a pirate."   
  
Relena could not take the barrage of insults any longer. She held her head up high and stomped out of the Scumm Bar, in search of a new means of becoming a pirate. She did not need any group of intolerable "know-it-all's" who claimed to be the important group of pirates.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three: Wait a minute...  
  
Guybrush sleepily shifted in his seat as the priestess told her story. The fact that there was some strange sense of myth in any story that she told was the mere item that kept Guybrush awake during this story of such a boring, snobby, and strange girl.   
  
"Wait a minute," Guybrush interrupted.  
  
"What is it this time?" the priestess asked, with a sense of irritation in her voice from the numerous times that Guybrush had interrupted her.   
  
"First of all, Elaine has a long line of family that was governor of the Tri-Island area. How long ago did this story take place that this Heero Yuy guy was the governor at the time?"  
  
"This was far before the Marley family was the governor of the Tri-Island area," the priestess replied. She paused for a moment and corrected herself, "Actually, Heero Yuy was governor for a short time right before the Marley family began their governor reign."  
  
"Oh. And is this girl going to become a pirate, because I mean...pink?"   
  
"Guybrush, don't look down on Relena too much. Do recall how naïve you were when you first landed on Melee Island."  
  
Guybrush could hear Wally snickering beside the priestess as she scolded him. He could also hear a loud thumping approach the ship. The thumping grew louder as a small little skull entered the room.   
  
"What are you guys talking about? Anything evil?" the skull asked.  
  
"No, Murray, they are telling me the story of this stupid Relena Peacecraft girl."  
  
"I'd consider that evil," Murray replied.   
  
"Her evil? She can't even sword fight," Guybrush chuckled.  
  
"Oh but she has haunted the seven seas! Brought terror to all, except for yours truly of course," Murray said, followed by his booming laughter.   
  
"And another thing, I know I have met the Fetuchini Brothers at one point. If this story is as old as you say, why are they in there?" Guybrush asked.   
  
"Those are the very-great grandfather and even greater uncle of the Fetuchini brothers," Wally replied.  
  
"You mean there are even more of them? And what's with this whole cannon thing? They never seem to be able to figure that out?" Guybrush shot more questions at the bunch.  
  
"It is an evil cannon that has an evil curse put upon it by a very evil person," Murray exclaimed happily.   
  
"Silence, let me continue the story," the priestess warned. The noised ceased to exist.   
  
I guess even Murray's afraid of the priestess, Guybrush though to himself.   
  
  
"I heard that Threepwood," the priestess chided and continued her story.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Four: Relena's Circus act   
  
After wandering the island for quite a while, Relena stumbled upon a clearing, brightened by the bright lights of what seemed to be a circus. The pink and white striped cloth was draped over an abundance of polls. Even from where she was standing, not quite fifty feet away, she could hear loud bickering coming from the circus tent.   
  
"Ruffian!"   
  
"Fop!"  
  
"You smell and your pasta stinks too!"  
  
"My pasta? What about yours?"   
  
Relena slowly walked up to the tent, perhaps to cease the endless arguing that was echoing through the forests of Melee Island. She stood in the entrance of the circus tent for a while before actually saying anything.   
  
"Hello, my name is Relena Peacecraft. Why are you arguing?"  
  
"Welcome Regina-"   
  
"Relena"   
  
"Whatever. We are the Fetuchinni Brothers," one of them said.   
  
"We were arguing about the safety of our clown act, in which one of us is shot from a cannon," the second one said.  
  
"But neither of us want to test it. We will pay you 300 pieces of eight if you test out this cannon," the first one continued.  
  
"I guess, but don't I need a helmet?" Relena asked impatiently.   
  
"Helmet? Ah yes, that would be good wouldn't it?"  
  
"I don't know you're the one who built this stupid thing."   
  
"Here use that bucket over there."   
  
The Fetuchini brothers strapped the bucket to her head as she loaded herself into the cannon. A deafening boom shook the air as she was shot across the room and landed in a pile of elephant manure.   
  
"Sorry about that," one of the brothers apologized.  
  
"You half-wit," the other screamed at him, "I told you to aim left, not right."   
  
"Check to see if the young girl's all right," the first man said.  
  
"Why don't you? You're the fool that shot her into the elephant manure."  
  
"At least I didn't shoot her into a tree like you did last time."   
  
Relena got herself up. She was awake and she did not feel any bones broken or any body parts hurt. The only thing that had changed since she had accepted the offer was that now she smelled of elephant droppings.   
"I'm okay, just please, the cannon works perfectly fine," she said.  
"Okay, Okay," one of them said, "here is your money. Thank you for helping."   
"Do you know of any place where I can get showered or whatever?" she asked.  
"The governor's mansion is perhaps the only location that you can bathe. Do take in mind that this is a pirate-dominated island."   
"Thank you then, I am going then," Relena said as she left.  
  
Chapter Five: Murray at his...liveliest   
  
With her 300 pieces of eight clenched tightly in her hand, Relena wandered Melee town with no definite direction. Her wandering eventually led her to a quiet shop. She entered to see a strange looking pirate silently musing to himself at the front desk. She was not too sure whether the man was awake or sleeping for both of his eyes lay partially closed.   
"Excuse me, are you still awake?" Relena asked silently.  
The man jumped to his feet, startled by her silent entrance into the story.  
"Of course I'm awake. Why would I not be awake? I am merely planning my evil plans to take over the world," the man said as he laughed insanely, shaking his head, along with his long stringy hair, violently in the air.   
She was shocked by the odd antics of this strange man as he laughed about something that she, herself did not understand. Did this man not understand the hardships of presiding as the monarch of the known world?   
"My name is Relena Peacecraft. I am here in search of a sword, a shovel, and some other items that may aid me in my quest to become a pirate."   
"Well my name is Murray and I want to rule the world. Join the club and stop moping around like some rich little girl. Oh I want to become pirate. I want to rebel against my family," the man said in a mimicking tone.   
Relena stood there, the blood within her beginning to boil with anger at someone who had such a mangled brain as to sit there mimicking someone who was once the Queen of the World. She had lived the dream that the man who stood before her had held within his heart, and yet, he had no respect of the simple request of assistance that she had.   
"I'm sure you're next awaiting job is to become a lumberjack," Murray continued. In his own mind wondering why a simple-looking girl who wore suits of pink was standing before him telling him that she wanted to become a pirate. Everyone in the pirating world knew that there was one color that pirates universally could not tolerate. This color was, indeed, the primary color on the clothes that this young girl wore.   
"Please, sir, just inform me as to where you hold the swords and shovels. Are there any other tools that are required for my quest to become a pirate?"  
"You don't seem to be grasping my point. I am taunting you because I, being the ultimate evil presence in this world, refuse to help you find your 'little swords and shovels' because I am a psychotic evil man."   
"I'll find it myself," Relena retorted as she walked up the stairs to the second story of the small shop. She had found a decent sword. She shook her head, trying to clear it from the bitter memories of her past. She had seen much fighting before she traveled to Melee Island, and this fighting had entailed weapons far more deadly than the heavy metal sword that she picked up from the rack. Adjacent to this sword was a shovel. Living in a life of luxury had never required her to use a shovel.   
Relena struggled as she carried both tools down the stairs towards the man who called himself Murray. She decided that for once in her life, she could help herself.   
"Is this all?" Murray asked her as he added the total of the combined prices of the sword and the shovel.   
"Yes, that is it," Relena replied hastily. She grabbed her items after she paid the total of 135 pieces of eight that were required to purchase the sword and the shovel. She kept her change in the leather pouch that was given to her by the Fetuchini brothers. She grabbed the sword and the shovel as she struggled to carry them and began to run out of the door. She knew that she simply had to depart from that shop before the store owner continued to taunt her further.   
"Fine, kid," Murray groaned calling her back to the table. He handed her a large bag. "Here, hold your things in there, it'll make life for you a lot easier. Don't worry its on me."  
"Thank you," Relena said with a slight smile. Was it possible that this was the first good thing that happened to her that strange and eventful evening? She walked out of the door with the bag slung over her shoulder, and entered the cold, dark night.   
Relena clutched her bag as she continued up the trail, still walking in an aimless direction that even she was not aware of. She could still sense the pungent odor of the elephant dung that she had landed in before. How many hours ago, she, herself, was not too sure of. She had lost all track of time since she had arrived on the island.   
She jumped as the clock above her informed her of the time. Eleven PM. It had seemed such a long time ago that she had landed on the shores of Melee Island, yet, she knew that it had been an incredibly short time that she had been there. It wasn't even midnight yet.   
She paused for a moment and looked around. Until then, she had thought that she was near town because the chimes of the Melee bell that echoed through the island seemed so loud and near. Relena realized that it was the only sound that she had heard for nearly ten minutes since she left the shop. No longer was the air filled with the laughter and shouts of the pirates that inhabited the island. Only the soft and gentle Caribbean breeze filled the air. There was but one trace of civilization that loomed before her as she peered up to see a giant brick wall. An opening lay several feet in front of her allowing this path to run through and go wherever the path would eventually lead her to.   
Relena gasped with the sudden realization of what lived within the walls. She had realized that these walls must be the entrance to the governor's mansion; the governor that she had so anxiously waited to meet. She silently slipped passed the walls, and entered a clearing, with a path that led straight to a large mansion. She smiled to herself and held her bag of items tighter in her hands as she walked towards the mansion. She opened the door and entered.   
  
Chapter Five: Murray or Murray?   
  
Guybrush sat there, attempting to envision the story that the priestess was telling him. The name Murray had struck a familiar bell in his head. The Murray that he knew shifted uneasily in his own spot for a moment as the priestess told that portion of the story.   
"I GOT IT!" Guybrush exclaimed, shocking all of the other three...beings that were present in the priestess's home.   
"What?" Wally asked, fiddling with a paper voodoo doll that one of the priestess's children left behind before they all ventured to the Plunder Island beach.   
"Murray, aren't you that Murray in the story?" Guybrush asked, with a tone of pride in his voice.   
"I plead the Fifth," Murray grumbled in a voice so low that everyone could barely make out what he was saying.   
Wally and Guybrush turned to look at him for a moment. The only one who was not suspiciously eyeing Murray at the time was the priestess. For many years, she had known that Murray was one that had interacted with Relena, herself. It was never something that a person would take much pride in knowing. Murray had to carry the knowledge with him, for eternity, as the dead and the undead.   
"All right! All right! I am the shopkeeper in the story. You must keep the fact that I was kind to someone a secret. It'll ruin my reputation of being the ultimate evil force in the world," Murray finally admitted after several minutes of shear silence.   
"Wow, I guess evil villains can be nice," Guybrush said.   
"Hey! I was not completely nice! I just gave her a bag. I could have put some evil curse on it for all you know! She hasn't gotten to that part of the story," Murray said, in defense of Guybrush's laughter.  
"But it's not a part of the story," Wally said quietly. "I've heard the story many times. I even spent a month on that story in high school when I took the 'Strange Stories of the Tri Island Area' class."   
"If I hear one more interruption from any of you, that means you especially Guybrush," the priestess started, "I will turn you into a toad and cook you for dinner. Is this understood?"   
They all quickly agreed and quietly waited for her to begin the story. She sat there for several moments looking at Guybrush.   
"And no, there were no ferocious piranha poodles guarding the mansion at that time Threepwood," She said, startling Guybrush. It took him several moments to come to the conclusion that during the time that she had been staring at him, she was reading his mind.   
With that, the priestess continued her story.   
  
Chapter 6: The Meeting  
  
"Hello?" Relena called, hoping to receive a quick answer. No further sounds came other than the echo of what she had just said. She paused for a moment. "Is anyone here?"   
There was no answer but the creaking of the wood beneath her feet as she slowly entered the house. The inside was far larger than it seemed from the outside. She looked around her, to find nothing but what this mysterious governor held in his mansion. It seemed to be around 10 minutes before there was an answer.   
"Why are you here?" a familiar voice asked from behind her.   
As she turned around that moment, the mystery of this elusive governor vanished. She saw his stern fixed expression on her, a common expression of the boy she had once loved, Heero Yuy.   
"Heero? Is that really you?" she asked with delight.   
"Yes. Hrmm...I thought I told the watch guard to look out for you. I guess that's what you get when you hire a blind watch guard," Heero mused to himself.   
"Wh-why did you have your watch guard make sure I did not arrive on this island? Or was I to be treated with special care knowing that I am the one true love of Heero Yuy?"   
He made no comment, but just stared at her as she spoke. The silence forced her to question his thoughts. Was he upset at her arrival? Was it possible that he did not want to see here again? Or was this silence a revival of the love that he once felt for her, if he ever did at all.  
"I'm not sure, Relena, if you noticed that ever since I first met you, my prime intention was of murdering you," Heero began.   
"Yes, I know, but I thought us being toget-"   
"And let me also make it clear that I left and came here to a place that I found most likely for the likes of you not to find me. Do you not realize how utterly annoying it is to be forced to hear you wail my name across space at the end of every single episode of Gundum Wing?" he said, looking at her with a fierce expression of hatred.   
"Episode?" Relena asked.   
Heero paused for a moment thinking about what he had just said. "Well, I-have-heard you many times wailing my name into space. It gets very annoying. Now as I was saying, I came here to get rid of you, which apparently did not seem to work. I don't know how you found me, and I do not plan on asking you how you found me, but just let me be and let me have a nice peaceful life without you."   
"But Heero..." Relena pleaded.   
"And what the hell is that God awful smell?" Heero said, finally taking heed of the pungent stench that filled the air.  
"That would be from earlier. I visited the Fetuchini brothers and they shot me into the air with a cannon and into a pile of elephant dung," Relena explained.   
With that, Heero laughed and led Relena to the doorway and shoved her outside into the cold Caribbean night. Shocked at what he had just done, Relena stood there for several moments, staring blankly at the door, which had just slammed in her face only moments before. A tear rushed down her cold face, as she did the one thing that she figured she could do.   
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO!" She said with all the strength left in her. She paused for several moments, hoping that she had just imagined what had occurred and Heero would open the door and warmly welcome her into his arms.   
"Will you please get rid of her someone?!" Relena heard Heero yell from inside.   
"Uh, sir, none of us want to go near her, she smells awful," another voice called.   
"Then just release the ferocious piranha poodles," Heero sighed.   
Relena had no time to think before a herd of angry piranha poodles stampeded towards her and tore her into tiny pieces. Not a bit of her was left after she was fully consumed by the ferocious piranha poodles.   
  
Chapter 7: Back to Guybrush   
  
"For many years after, the spirit of Relena Peacecraft lingered Melee Island, wandering aimlessly and calling for her love, Heero Yuy," The priestess said.  
"Aw, how sad," Guybrush sympathized.   
"What do you mean sad?" Wally exclaimed.  
"We've only been hearing the brat wail for him for the past 2 hours," Murray whined.   
"And one more thing, why is she on Plunder Island when you, yourself just said that she wanders Melee Island," Guybrush interrogated the rest of the inhabitants of the priestess's ship.  
"If you would just let me continue," the priestess said.  
"No, let me tell this part of the story, since it is MY part," Murray said. "Well, she wandered Melee Island for many years. The only kind face, as she remembered from her encounters on Melee Island was my face, for I had given her that bag. For many years, as my undead soul wandered Melee, she followed me, preventing me from working on any of my evil schemes. Now let me tell you, that in itself was a torture. Even when I had moved to other islands, including Monkey Island, she would follow me, telling me all about her love for that governor of ours. Finally, I hoped that her being that stupid little peace-loving girl that she was, would stop following me if I had decided to join LeChuck's dominion, who was, what I would consider, far less of an evil than I was. However, the two found something in common. They had both died for someone that they had fallen in love with, so they made close chums. Relena was never heard of by most other people because she was kind of one of those on the side relationships that you really don't hear of. Especially since that would ruin LeChuck's reputation. But time had proven to both of them that it would not work out. He was an undead pirate off to seek the soul of his beloved Elaine, and she was a stupid annoying pest that chose simply to call out for her beloved Heero. He put a curse on her so that she would never be able to be anywhere near the ship of LeChuck's. I figured those would be the happiest times of my evil life...or rather after life, but LeChuck worked us all to the bone, allowing me no time to scheme evil thoughts. Just to robotically perform evil actions that LeChuck wished us to perform. We were his slaves."  
"I felt it to be quite a learning experience. Although, I never really wanted to become a pirate," Wally started, reminiscing about his own experience as a part of LeChuck's crew.   
"We can learn about your wish to become a lumberjack later," the priestess said, glaring at Wally. "As for now, Murray has more to tell us about Relena Peacecraft, for she is our main concern at the moment."   
"Well," Murray said, trying to remember where he had left his part of the story off, "Life was peaceful without Relena, to say something good about working as one of LeChuck's evil legions. Although, working for anything with evil in it is always a great thing to do. But anyway, one day, we are trying to take over this island. You see, this one, right here that we are on right now. Plunder Island, and all of a sudden, Guybrush over here decides to shoot me off of my boat, detaching me from the rest of my treasured self."  
"Well," Wally started again, "He did also make me see that my life was not cut out for me to become a pirate and that I should pursue other dreams."  
"On the evil and dreary side of things," Murray continued, "Relena, who had been closely following the actions of LeChuck's ship continued to follow us from a distance. She found me and she is actually the one who posted me on the pole out there, as you were asking me earlier Guybrush. And she has been here ever since, haunting me."   
"Well I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate. I've defeated LeChuck before, and I know his ways. I can defeat a whiny little brat who haunts the Tri Island region," Guybrush started.  
"Mr. Wood, I don't think that it's too good of an idea. I mean, you do not even know who you are facing here," Wally shouted.   
"Yes, Guybrush, this is not a battle for you. Besides, you're fiancée is a solid gold statue at this time. Wouldn't you prefer worrying about her?"  
"Or my long time chum, EL POLLO DIABLO!" Murray went on excitedly.   
"No, I'm off to seek the fame that will come once I defeat Relena Peacecraft," Guybrush valiantly bluffed as he grabbed his saber and ran out of the ship.   
The priestess shook her head with pity for the man that she had guided through his quest to become a pirate. "He'll never learn," she muttered under her breath.   
  
The End   



End file.
